boys don't cry- if you're in my creative writing class just know this poem is just for fun, I would love feedback, but would prefer if you focus on A Love Story

taxi driver 

be my shrink for the hour

it's rush hour 

so take the express lane if you need to 

roll up the windows 

before they see the tears roll down my face

a child should never see their father cry

lock the doors 

so they can't get in 

drive faster 

my demons can't win this race 

I can't trust anyone 

bleach in my beer bottle 

You say, "Let it all out"

But the meter's running 

and the windows are closed

and the doors are locked

and the cyanide is choking me up 

"Just outrun the demons, could you?"

You drive faster 

there's a roadblock

am I flying or is this just the high 

You break the windshield 

I hit the ground

My confidant, am I allowed to cry?

A mix of my blood and tears cause a flood on I95 

Boys don't cry 

Now I see why 


Comments

  1. ElianaFebruary 22, 2022 at 5:17 PM

    As always Marcella I am in love with your poem! So many things jump out at me. Firstly, it was amazing how you changed the beat in the middle to make me read faster, indicating a climax. The lines
    But the meter's running

    and the windows are close

    and the doors are locked

    read much quicker and add this tone of desperation and heightened emotion which encompass the theme of the poem. I also love love love your ending! It was so cool how that was the only line that rhymed and I liked that it was so simply phrased but packed such a punch! It was such a powerful way to end the poem. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Enya SmilovicFebruary 24, 2022 at 11:20 AM

    Oh my gosh wow I am shook I love this poem. The way your thoughts get deeper as it goes on is amazing. I need to talk about these lines:
    You say, "Let it all out"

    But the meter's running

    and the windows are closed

    and the doors are locked I love the whole poem but these lines really jumped off the page for me. Wanting to let it all out, but the only thing running out is the cabs meter and the windows closed, door locked. So many implicit messages are here and I love it. Great poem wow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rina ShamilovFebruary 25, 2022 at 3:14 PM

    i love the repetition you employ. you and the reader are a ticking time bomb that crash with a very subtle end. the themes of being locked, and crying, and being expressive are both eerie and moving, but your language is very casual.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Poems

questions

  how will the sky look when i die will it be grey with dismay that it lost another soul or happy another cloud has joined will there be tears in my eyes  or the sky's will the stars dance with delight  at the restless, hopeless, careless life that left muddy footprints on the rocks of central park will the wind blow the trees into one smooth motion of jete  i hope their pedals die with me an ode to my life that was in some way part of theirs' will the atmosphere be easy to breath, cause dry, frozen breathes to be sucked in from the nose  and released with a minty sigh  or will the atmosphere be heavy and humid  with sweat building, heart pounding air  that punches you in the lung with each breath who are you betting on that night?  headlines screaming my life vs my faith will the ambulance scream my name in hopes of my survival whisper of my conjugated memory    suspicion and disposition  will the sky question my nobility...
Read more

The first poem of many. These are memories that I recount ever so often. TW!

  Little Poems about My Life Around 2021, you called me on face time. Twice. I didn’t respond. My lack of patience and willpower was the reason for my avoidance. It’s much easier to ignore the past with an eye roll, then welcome it back in with a fake smile. Around 2020, I moved to Tel Aviv. I didn’t speak a word of Hebrew. I found myself leaving behind my signature gold hoops for pearl earrings. I can’t for the life of me find those hoops.  Around 2017, my grandma died. Mom says it was cancer, my aunt says it was stress. I say it was a tragedy. She died without having had a bat mitzvah, so I started an organization in her honor. The organization lasted 6 months.  Around 2019, I started to eat again. This time it would stick although sometimes I wish it didn’t. I miss the pain it caused me. My mom says she’d rather see me cry at 13 than at 18. Little did she know, I would be crying at 13 and 18. It seems time flies when you're having fun. Around 2022, I saw snow for the f...
Read more

trepidation

  there are moments in my life when i think im going to die where i look up at the sky  and realize that the sun  will always be the same  in some relative way  but  i will get older  shorter of breath one minute closer to death in those moments, i count how many people I've ever loved  i wonder if they'll count me into the number of tragedies that ruined their day next to their spilt coffees and paper cuts  i think about how in these moments,  my thoughts are worth more than a dime  agitation and trepidation  all i've ever touched,  all i've ever seen, this is all my life would have ever been  impactful lives are a cliche  when the world ends, people won't remember Marlyn Monroe or Barack Obama   they'll remember Gd, taxes, and vodka  in these moments,  my problems will fade away  maybe heaven and hell are the same  my sins wont be used in my eulogy  my good deeds will be forgo...
Read more