monogamy
are you monogamous towards me
or are you in love with the single idea of me
there are many different layers to my personality
How can you be so attached to one entity
if you don't even believe in more than one Gd
are you monogamous towards me
or, are you infatuated with the love I have exclusively for you
that single tiny scar that runs down the end of your eyebrow
the devotion I can and only have for you
are you monogamous towards me
or are you in love with one of my facades
I am one body with many different souls
One second I'm crying, the next I'm elated
are you monogamous towards me
or, are you still a stranger to my many other signature perfumes
you claim to know me, but there are more letters in the alphabet than just M E
are you monogamous towards me
or are you still stuck in the past of polytheism
I really like this poem. In some ways it resembles you last one: It feels spoken and natural. In flows with seeming spontaneity. And it touches on some challenging issues. But this poem, if I am understanding it even halfway right, is even bolder--certainly bold in a different way.
ReplyDeleteAt first, I was certain this was the somewhat accusatory voice of a lover, feeling threatened or perhaps angry at another, and most of the poem does read that way. But by the end, I am wondering if perhaps I am wrong, and this isn't the voice of something else. It almost seems like the voice of a person with a messiah complex. In some lines, I can imagine this poem being spoken by the voice of a strangely human iteration of the concept of G-d. For example, this part:
so how can you be in love to one entity
if you don't even believe in more than one Gd
It would be weird for a normal human being to refer to herself as an "entity." Lines like this fascinate me and make me wonder deeply about the speaker.
This is because the poem conflates monogamy with other forms of faith, and that is the source of the poem's mystery. Even though parts of the poem confuse me, it all seems so self-aware and natural, that I accept the confusing parts instead of feeling like they are just missteps.
I also really like this line: "that single tiny scar that runs the end of your eyebrow"
I am not so sure about the part refering to Zoloft. That part seems more straightforward and less of a mystery. It locates the poem more firmly in the everyday world. In this poem, that seems like it might be a misstep.
Fascinating stuff!
Wowww this is amazing. Right when I started reading I was struck by your deep thoughts. When you said "see, there are many different layers to my personality
Deleteso how can you be in love to one entity" I felt your words. This is such a deep thought and truthfully no one knows everything about someone. It's very unique how you use concepts of Gd and religion to convey love on a more personal note. The closing line adds even more to this style when you ask if their still "stuck in the past of polytheism" this was a great end off to your stylistic choices. One smalllll suggestion I would make is removing extra words. For example in my favorite line when you say "see, there are many different layers to my personality
so how can you be in love to one entity" I think it would sound even better as
There are many layers to my personality
How can you be in love with one entity
This poem is so amazing, thank you for sharing :)
this was so packed with emotion and brought out of itself in a nice way. the message is important and and i appreciate the vulnerableness because these are thoughts i think we all have but don't always put in writing. I like the line, "see, you claim to know me, but there are more letters in my name than just M E". Nice touch!
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful and i appreciate the repetition of the words 'monogamous', especially as it seeps into the end of the poem. this has a very apparent tone, and i appreciate how honest your voice is in this. that being said, i think getting rid of the "see" before some sentences might make them more compact and cohesive. on the other hand, though, it really adds a lot of flavor, so i would really just keep it in one line or so. amazing job!!
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